Who Stole It?
by FluffyCanada123
Summary: Somebody steals Canada's maple syrup. He goes on a hilarious adventure, killing anyone in his way with a hockey stick. Eventual Fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**Summery- Somebody steals Canada's Maple Syrup. Canada is mad. Do I really need to say more? Eventual fluff at the end. Be patient please. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own Hetalia or Canadian Maple Syrup. **

**There might be fluff. I will probably post about once a week. Maybe less. It depends on my attention span. Sorry. Also I will switch between country and human names randomly. It's a habit.**

Canada looked at the screen, his eyes narrowing. He was currently in his office, where he had been checking up on his country's affairs. It was snowing outside, because it always snows in Canada, and he had had nothing better to do. But now, somebody was going to pay. Somebody had stolen maple syrup from a warehouse. Canada felt himself tense. Whoever stole his maple syrup was going to burn in hell. No, he took that back. Hell was too good for the culprit. When Canada found them, he was going to him within an inch of his life with his hockey stick. And then he was going to sick Kumajiro on the bandit. (Yes, Canada is worse than hell when he's mad. Don't deny it.) Now, who to interrogate first?

Canada banged his hand against America's door. What was taking the idiot so long? Alfred pushed opened his door. "Dude! I haven't seen you in ages! What are you doing here? And why do you look you're about to kill someone?" Wait… Alfred paled. Canada spoke in a low, threatening voice. "Do you know why I'm here?" Alfred flinched. "Chill bro, I didn't do anything! I swear! Now would you please stop glaring at me? Its creeping me out bro!" Canada sighed. His brother was truly an idiot. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MAPLE SYRUP!?" Alfred shrunk back. "I don't know anything! I didn't even know that maple syrup was stolen! Please don't hit me!" Canada ignored his plea. Alfred obviously didn't steal his maple syrup, so why was he acting so guilty? "Invite me in Alfred, you're being rude," Canada said in a flat voice.

Canada sipped his hot chocolate. It was snowing at Alfred's house too. Suddenly Alfred slapped him on the back, causing Canada to choke. "Dude, you really scared me for a second there! I almost wasn't the hero!" Canada glowered at him. Something was up. Al never smiled that big. It defied logic. "I'm still mad." Alfred laughed nervously. "But bro, I already told you I didn't do anything!" Canada stared at him. "I swear! I would never be so stupid as to steal your maple syrup!" Canada still stared. Alfred knew something, he was sure of it. Canada didn't know what it was, but he was going to find out. Suddenly his hand shot out, grabbing a fistful of America's shirt. Canada yanked America towards him, his face murderous. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW!" America squeaked. And then promptly fainted. Canada looked down on him with disgust. "Wimp," he growled.

Canada dumped a pitcher of ice water on America's head. Right now, the Canadian was showing no mercy. America shrieked. "What was that for dude!" Canada stared down at him. "You fainted," he said in an emotionless voice. Canada slammed his foot on America's chest, caused the American to gasp. "Tell. Me. What. You. Know. Now." America's eyes opened wide in shock. He had never realized how scary his brother could be. "I can't." Alfred said in a small voice. Canada pushed his foot harder against America's chest, he violet eyes glittering with malice. "Do I need to get my hockey stick?" America shuddered. "No! I'll tell you! Please don't get your hockey stick!" Canada smiled cruelly. He thought so. He looked at America expectantly. "England was acting really weird last night. He kept twitching nervously and glancing at the door. And when I asked him if he wanted to go to the bar, he said no! That's not chill!" Canada's eyes narrowed. So the Brit had taken his maple syrup. America squeaked. "Please don't hurt him!" Canada just turned and walked out the door, leaving trembling American behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is kind of of sad. I hope that's okay. It will get funnier, trust me.**

Canada sighed. All he wanted was his maple syrup. Was that really so much to ask? He didn't have time to go all over the world. Going to America's house was always exhausting, and the he had to go England's. The hoser probably wouldn't even remember him. Canada felt a surge of anger. If the damn Brit didn't recognize Canada, he was going to dismember him. Canada wondered why someone would be so stupid as to steal his maple syrup. England normally had much more sense than that. He shook his head. Whatever the reason was, Canada was going to murder England. Canada felt a prickle of doubt. It wasn't really in the Brit's nature to be this stupid. Maybe Canada should try being diplomatic this time. But if England really did steal his maple syrup, Hell Hath No Fury Like A Canadian.

Canada knocked on England's door. "England, are you home?" Canada frowned. He had been sure the Brit would be home. He relaxed when he heard footsteps. England opened and started. "C-Canada, what are you doing here?" Canada looked closely at England's face. England's face was pasty white, and his eyes were bloodshot. England twitching nervously, and he couldn't meet the Canadian's eyes. Canada sighed. If this wasn't a guilty face, he didn't know what was. "I think you know why I'm here," Canada growled. England paled. "I-I really don't." Canada saw red. "I think you do." England's twitching increased. "I was just at America's. Want to know what he told me?" England eyes widened. "Y-you went to America's?" Canada nodded, a murderous look on his face. "W-what did he say?" Canada shook his head sadly. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this. Canada's hand shot out, pinning England's throat to the wall. "E-eek!" Canada shook England roughly. "WHERE IS IT," Canada shouted at the same time England said, "I never meant to hurt him!" "Wait, what?"

Canada looked confused. "Never meant to hurt who?" By now England was so scared he looked like he was going to faint. "Alfred, of course. Isn't that why you're here?" "No," Canada said slowly. "I'm here because America said you might have stolen my syrup." England twisted out of Canada's grasp. "Why the hell would I do that?" Canada just looked puzzled. He supposed America could have made a mistake. "Why were you so scared, then?" A thought dawned on the Canadian. "What did you do to America?" England looked at the floor guiltily. "That's really none of your business." Canada just smiled, and said, "I came all the way here, I deserve an explanation." England fidgeted. "Well, I went to the pub for drinks, and France was there. So I decided to make him my drinking buddy. America and I had just gotten into a huge fight, and I wanted to forget." Canada's eyes narrowed. "What did you do?" England sighed. "France seemed happier than usual, and well, I made some decisions I shouldn't have." Canada just stared. How could England do that America? Whenever Canada visited America, America would go on and on about how Iggy was the best. "You don't deserve America," Canada said coldly. "How could you do that to him?" "I plan to go apologize soon," England said sadly. "I never meant to hurt him," he repeated.

Canada stood up. "Well, this visit was a waste of time. Now how am I supposed to find my maple syrup?" England started. "Actually, I might be able to help you with that. France was going on about how he pulled of the prank of the year. Maybe he took it?" Canada nodded. That made sense. "Do you know where he is now?" England thought for a second. "He's probably home." Canada sighed. Yet another home to go to. Why did they all live so far apart? "Alright, I will go there next." First, he had some business to take care of. "Call America." England flinched. "I can't do that! What if he never wants to see me again?!" Canada giggled. That's right, giggled. He never realized how whipped England was. "America loves you, he'll forgive you. "Now call him, you wimp." "Fine, fine, I'll call him."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry if the translations are off, I used Google Translate. I've decided this fic is going to be about six chapters, give or take one. Also, I tried to make this chapter more funny. Don't know if I succeeded. **

Canada growled as he walked towards France's house. He was getting tired of walking across the globe to find his maple syrup. Who did France think he was? (A pervert, duh Canada.) Canada's tightened around his hockey stick. He wasn't playing around any more. France was going to pay for this felony with his life. Canada strode up to France's door and kicked down the door. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, FRANCE?" He roared. Canada strode from room to room, till he reached France's bedroom. Canada grinned and burst into the room. "GIVE MY MY MAPLE SYRUP!" France screamed and fell up the bed. "_Merde_!" "WHERE IS IT?!" France flinched. "My dear Mathieu, whatever are you screaming for?" Canada saw red. He did _not _just ask him that. "You damn well what I'm screaming for," he snarled. Francis blinked. "I'm afraid I do not. Why don't you put your hockey stick down and we talk in my living room," France said, his voice shaking at the last part. Canada lost it. He swung his hockey down on France's head. _Crack! _France was out cold.

Canada walked into the kitchen and took a large glass from the cabinet. He filled it with cold water and walked back to France. Canada them promptly dumped it on France's head. "Qui? Quoi? Où?" Canada sighed. "I knocked you out, France." France paled considerably when he heard Canada. "What was that for?!" Canada frowned. "I apologize, I shouldn't have knocked you out." "Duh!" France spluttered. "I was a mistake. I can't interrogate you if you're unconscious. I only meant to hurt you a bit." Canada continued right over France. France choked on hair that had fallen into his mouth. "I still don't know why you knocked me out!" France cringed at the look on Canada's face. Perhaps he shouldn't have said that. Canada counted to ten and took deep breaths. He would never find out where his maple syrup was if France was unconscious. Again. "My maple syrup! You took it! And I will _kill _you if you say you don't know where it is!" France shuddered at the murderous look in Canada's eyes. "I-I really don't know where it."

Canada tackled France. "Tell me where it is!" He hissed. "Mon cher, I don't know!" France grunted in pain. Suddenly, the phone rang. France looked towards the phone. Canada saw the opening he had been waiting for and put his hands around France's neck. Canada began to crush France's windpipe, ignoring the wheezing sounds the Frenchman was making. France grabbed at his neck, trying to breath. "Please, stop killing me!" He wheezed. "Not until you tell me where my maple syrup is!" France whimpered in pain. "I-I really don't know," he croaked. "P-Please, I help you in any way I can!" Canada reluctantly withdrew his fingers from France's throat, dark purple bruises marring France's throat. He sighed, "I suppose there would be too much paperwork anyway." France whimpered and ran into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Canada followed France into the kitchen. "So, if you supposedly didn't steal my maple syrup, who did?" France avoided Canada's gaze. "I-I can't really help you there." Canada frowned. Bullshit,. France knew something. He silently held up his and started to count down. "One… Two…" France dropped the glass on the floor, shattering it into a million pieces. "Okay! Antonio might have something to do with it!" Canada's fingers clenched into fists. Spain was freaking forever away! France flinched, thinking that Canada was about to hit him. "See, he bought drinks for everyone at the bar. I was really happy about that, because I drunk a ton and I didn't have enough money to pay the tab. I asked Spain where he got the money, and he just winked at me and said, all will become clear. Like what the hell does that mean!" France rambled. Canada put his hands up in placating manner. "Chill, I don't want to kill you anymore. I now want to kill Spain." France let out the breath he had been holding in relief. "Merci!" Canada smiled. "Oh, there's something else I wanted to tell you." "What?" "This," and Canada brought his hockey stick against France's skull. France silently slid to the floor, unconscious. "The first time was only a tap, you wimp. Don't you ever mess with Alfred again."


	4. Chapter 4

**Um… Yeah… So I totally abandoned this story for like a month? To be fair I had the school play, exams, and huge amounts of HW. I'm on summer break though, so I should be able to update much quicker! (Haha, my friends still have like two weeks left grins evilly) Also I accidently put this under France and Canada, and I said there would be fluff, so you might have thought there would be Franada fluff. There won't be. I put it under the correct thingie. **

Canada stared at Spain's door. He clutched his hockey stick in both hands and decided that even if Spain hadn't stole his maple syrup, he was going to kill him anyway, just because he could. Canada kicked the door open with a loud crash and shouted, "Come out. Come out wherever you are!" He heard whimpering and smiled sadistically. Canada sneaked around the corner to find… Romano and Spain making out. Canada screamed and dropped his hockey stick. He clapped his hands over eyes and screamed, "My eyes! They burn!" Just because he was furious didn't mean he wasn't Canadian. Canada stumbled into the kitchen, his hands still covering his eyes. Suddenly a thought struck. The whimpering… Wasn't because of him. Canada felt like he was going to throw up. No one should ever have to walk on their friend making out with Spain and very few pieces of clothing on. "Maple!" He shrieked. "Put some damn clothes on!" Canada was going to be forever scarred by the sight of Romano in boxers. Just the thought of what he had seen brought a fierce blush to his face. Romano stopped in the kitchen in the kitchen with, thankfully, more clothes on. "What the hell are you doing here!" He shouted.

Canada screamed back at him, "I could ask you the same thing! I was just looking for Spain! This is his house after all!" Canada gestured wildly around they room. Romano frowned. "What do you want to talk to the tomato bastard for?" Rage flickered in Canada's eyes. This was it. He'd had enough. "I JUST WANT MY MAPLE SYRUP YOU IGNORANT FOOL!" Spain ran into the room." Why are you are you yelling at Lovi?" He asked frantically and pulled Romano towards him. Canada shrieked. "PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON YOU S.O.B.!" Canada breathed heavily. He couldn't take anymore. First, he had to resolve the issues between America and England. (And that was bad enough, seeing as England was basically America's big brother and had raised them both.) Then, he had to visit the pervert France and yell at him for fucking England. God, he _so _didn't want that image in his head. And now, he had to have come to Spain's house and find Spain in an… Intimate position with Romano. And through it all, he hadn't found his bleeping maple syrup! Spain poked Canada with a worried look on his face. "Um… Lovi? Is Canadia okay?" Romano just shrugged.

Canada was pulled out of his stupor when he heard Spain call him Canadia. His eye twitched. Did Spain really just go there? The hockey appeared in his hand and a dark aura formed around Canada. Canada's eyes flickered dangerously. "FOR THE LAST TIME," he roared, "MY NAME IS CANADA! AND I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT! JUST TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING MAPLE SYRUP IS!" Spain flinched and hugged Romano. "Did Canada just curse?" He asked in a low tone, eyes filled with fear. "DAMN RIGHT I DID CURSE! NOW, WHERE IS THE EFFING SRYUP?" Spain shook slightly. "I-I don't know." He stuttered. Romano frowned at Canada. "What's your problem, maple bastard? You are making the tomato bastard angry." Canada raised his hockey stick and bashed it into Romano's leg. "My problem is that someone stole my maple syrup!" He said menacingly. Romano looked down at his leg with horror and fainted. Romano really couldn't stand up to _that_ much anger. Spain watched as his Lovi fell to the floor with a resounding thump. Spain shook Romano's shoulders. "Don't leave me with him!" He whisper-yelled. Canada smiled and turned his gaze to Spain.

"Now that the wimp is out, let's get down to business, eh?" Canada growled. Spain's shaking increased. "I-I'm sure there has been some mistake. I would never do something like that!" "THEN WHY HELL DID FRANCIS SAY YOU HAD!" Spain blinked. "D-Did you just call France Francis?" Canada frowned. "WTM?" Spain grinned. "You did! You called him Francis!" Canada's face turned red. "Of course I call him that you hoser! He is my papa after all…" Canada muttered the last part. Spain squealed. "That's so cute mi amigo! It's like when Lovi calls me Toni when we-AH!" Canada had grabbed Spain's throat and pinned him against the wall. He didn't even want to know where that sentence was going. "Just. Tell. Me." Spain had turned white. "Fine! Prussia stole it!" Canada abruptly let go of Spain. "P-Prussia stole it?" He asked in a small voice. Spain nodded vigorously, not paying attention to the hurt spread over Canada's face. Canada walked out of Spain's house with a confused expression on his face. "I thought Prussia was my friend," Canada said softly. 


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really sorry guys. I totally abandoned this story because I basically was really lazy. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to sit down and write. I think there will be one more chapter, but it will be something of an epilogue. I probably will write the bonus in the next month. I would write it sooner, but I'm really behind on my other stories too. This is my favorite chapter, so please review! **

Canada felt his insides burn with anger. So what if Prussia didn't view their friendship as seriously as he did. Canada would make him pay for all the trouble Prussia had caused. He would make Prussia beg for mercy until his voice ran out, and then he would make Prussia die a slow and painful death. Canada walked towards Germany's door, a sadistic smile on his face. He knocked lightly on the door and waited for someone to open the door. He grinned evilly when he heard footsteps come up to the door. The door swung open to reveal Italy. "Hello mister Canada! Ve, Are you looking for Prussia?" Canada nodded. "He's in the basement, as always mister Canada." Italy then ran up to god knows where. Canada stalked to the basement, mentally planning on how too kill Prussia. (Strangle or break his neck? Such a hard decision.) Canada walked down the steps calling out Prussia's name. At the bottom of the steps he froze, and his mouth dropped open.

The entire basement was filled with crates of maple syrup. Canada literally could not find a section of the floor that had no crate on it. Canada would have been in maple syrup heaven if the maple syrup hadn't been stolen. Once Canada's shock faded, he started searching for Gilbert. It was a bit hard because Canada had to climb over all the crates as there was no floor space. No matter, he could just think of ways to kill Prussia once he was found. Canada was leaning towards strangling, but decided to keep his options open. Canada had almost reached the middle of the basement by now. "Maple, how does Prussia move around? They are like mountains." Canada muttered under his breath. He straightened up and took another look around. Behind was the stairs, and crates. To the left of him was where Prussia slept on the couch, but the crates covered the couch. To Canada's right was, you guessed it, more crates. In front of Canada was a gigantic pile of maple syrup crates towering over everything else. Canada moved around the mountain so he could have a better look… Canada's mouth dropped open.

Canada blinked and pinched himself. Surely he dreaming. (Although he had doubts his subconscious could do something _this _crazy.) He was right. Only Prussia could dream this up. Gilbert was seated in the middle of the crates wearing a crown and holding a scepter. "Hey Birdie! Do you like mein awesome throne?" Canada could only stare. Prussia was nuts. Canada suddenly realized what Prussia had said. "Why the maple would I like it?! YOU STOLE MAPLE SYRUP FROM ME!" Gilbert flinched. "You noticed that?" Canada looked at Prussia disbelievingly. _"Of course I noticed you idiot!" _Canada yelled. "Have you always been this stupid and I just never noticed?" By now, Prussia was looking more than a little unsettled. He hadn't realized Birdie would get this mad. He just had to prove he was awesome to get back into Birdie's good graces! "But Birdie! The awesome me thought it would be awesome!" Canada's vision blurred from his rage. "WHY WOULD IT BE AWESOME?! I'VE NEVER EVEN LET YOU TOUCH THE BOTTLES IN MY CABINET AND YOU DECIDE TO GO AND STEAL AN ENTIRE _WAREHOUSE!" _ Prussia smirked. "It was all part of my awesome plan, Birdie!"

Canada was livid with rage. "WHAT PLAN?" Prussia grinned triumphantly. "To draw you out, of course!" Canada spoke in a deceptively calm voice. "You stole an entire warehouse of maple syrup just to get me to come over?" Prussia, being the oblivious person that he is, nodded and said in an entirely too cheery voice "Ja!" Canada snapped. He lunged at Prussia and tried to wrap his hands around Prussia's neck. Prussia fell backwards in shock and shrieked. He struggled against Canada, eyes wide with fear. "I-I'm sorry Birdie! I didn't realize you'd get this mad!" That, of course, was completely the wrong thing to say to the already enraged Canadian. "Casse toi!" Canada snarled. "I don't know what that means!" Prussia yelled back, freaking out. Canada was _way _stronger than he had realized, (and that was saying something because Prussia had seen Canada play hockey.) Canada his pulled fist back and punched Prussia in the stomach. Prussia immediately curled up into a ball and started wheezing. "Mein Gott, Birdie! That hurt!" Canada glared cruelly at him. "It was supposed to," he replied in a voice that could freeze water.

"Ugh, this wasn't how the plan was supposed to go!" Prussia groaned. _"HOW DID YOU THINK IT WOULD GO!" _Canada shrieked, his voice shrill. Not realizing this was a rhetorical question, Prussia said, "Well, I thought you'd think it was funny and we would laugh together and then you would realize I'm like way awesomer than you originally thought and then you'd say that and then I would say you are even awesomer and then you'd realize that you liked me and I'd be all cool and shit and say duh Birdie of course I like you and then-" Canada had stopped Prussia's rambling by leaning down and kissing him. "All you had to do was say you liked me. You didn't have to do all this." Canada said softly. Prussia smiled hesitantly. "So… That's a yes?" Canada nodded shyly. He then looked around him and sighed. "Maple, what are we supposed to do with all of this syrup? The warehouses don't open till tomorrow morning." A glint appeared in Prussia's eye. He leaned in close and said, "I have an idea." Canada looked confused. "What?" Prussia raised an eyebrow, smirked, and looked over Canada's body. "_Oh."_


End file.
